Some Things I Have Learned in My Life So Far

It’s been awhile, friends. I hope you’ll forgive me, and  that you’ve stuck with me here on the blog. It seems lately that the writing well has gone dry after losing Boo. I hope you don’t think I’m crazy that I’m still deeply in pain over that, but if you do I honestly don’t care. Losing a best friend always hurts.
However. In the inestimably wise words of Robert Frost: “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” As much as it hurts, as wrong as it feels, my life is going on. I have laughed, I have enjoyed myself, I have worried and fussed over other things besides losing my cat, and generally just kept on living, just like Robert Frost says. So in that vein, I have decided to share just a few of the more pertinent life lessons that I have gathered so far in my twenty-two years. I’ll try to be clever, and wise, and even funny again. And hopefully I’ll make you think, just a bit, as well. I also hope you’ll share some of the lessons you’ve learned so far in your life in the comments.

A Few Things I’ve Learned So Far

— Pets will break your heart. They will. But I have come to realize that I would never, ever, ever trade the love and joy and comfort of my cat, even to avoid how much it is hurting to lose him, and that’s true with all the pets I’ve lost and I can’t imagine not feeling the same when I lose other pets in the future.

— If you haven’t read ThLittle Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, you absolutely and unequivocally should. It is one of the most poignant, brilliant, and gorgeous things ever written disguised as a children’s book. It is also especially beautiful if you have just suffered a loss. I read it the other night without knowing this, and found myself bawling with the bittersweet comfort it gave me. Overall, this book is just going to drop some serious truth on you.

It includes charming and whimsical illustrations.

— The probable number of people who have sang along passionately to “Someone Like You” by Adele while staring at a picture of an old love and crying is mind-boggling to consider.

Adele songs– always relevant.

— If you want to wear leggings as pants… go right ahead. Seriously. Wear whatever the hell makes you feel beautiful and happy, and don’t ever let someone tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear. Fashion is subjective and a matter of personal opinion, not an excuse to put down other people. Be like this guy–comfortable in your own skin, and whatever you chose to put over it.

— In that same spirit, this is a great quote to live by, brought to you by the amazing Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway.” (This is not an excuse to be blind to all advice, help, and suggestions. It’s just a reminder that you can never please everybody, so at the end of the day you have to go with what you believe in.)

— It does not matter how much you love someone, or even if you believe they love you, too– if they don’t WANT to be with you, then it will never work. Falling in love is an act of gravity, a law of nature that you have no control over. Commitment is always, always a choice. Learn this lesson early, and save yourself a lot of heartache in the long run, even if it feels like your heart is breaking in the short term.

So. Many. Celebrities. So little time to creep them all. You just have to fill your stable, and then ignore the studs and fillies that go prancing by. (Until, of course, one of your stable gets married or has a significant other, then it’s time to head on down to the horse auction.) ((Why did I suddenly choose to go with a horse theme here???))

I honest to god hope I never, ever know Damian McGinty, because there are things I've done for this blog with Paint that can't be forgiven.

I honest to god hope I never, ever actually know Damian McGinty, because there are things I’ve done for this blog with Paint that can’t be forgiven.

— Travel. Anywhere you can, any way you can. It will change your mind and your life.

Northern Ireland

Northern Ireland

Paddington Station, London

Paddington Station, London

— The best birth control is working at a daycare.

— It is completely okay if you are girl in your twenties or thirties and you do not like wine; do not let Pinterest convince you otherwise. It is also completely okay if you do not like to drink.

Except the problem where I don’t like wine.

— One of the most disappointing but helpful lessons I learned at a college filled with foreign boys– JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE HAS AN ACCENT DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MAKE THEM SOMEONE YOU WANT TO DATE.

— You’ll know the difference between a crush and love, but there is nothing and no one that will be able to tell you if you truly love someone. Seriously, there’s just no way to tell for sure unless you decide you’re sure. Unlike my entire childhood led me to believe, there is no blurb on the movie/novel of your life that tells you definitively who the two romantic leads are. Thanks a lot, childhood.
Right-in-the-childhood

— Be kind. See Ellen DeGeneres if clarification is necessary.

— Sports are just a game. No matter how much you love them, always remember this: Just. A. Game. They do not trump human decency.

GRAMMAR MATTERS.

— Don’t overthink things. Most of the time, things are much simpler than you want to believe.

This is one of my favorite things ever.

This is one of my favorite things ever.

Also this.

— Both tea and books possess magical, healing properties.

— You are not infallible, no one is infallible. Never, ever, ever believe that you are always 100% right, because you are not. Accept that you are going to be wrong sometimes, and learn how to admit it. It’s one of the most useful lessons, to own your mistakes.

— You can still get a sunburn when it is cloudy, USE SUNSCREEN.

— You have to love yourself before someone else can love you. Well, at least to have a healthy relationship, you need to love yourself first. I fully believe this; I have spent a lot of life struggling with insecurities and wondering what was wrong with me because no one ever liked me back. Now, finally, I have grown to love myself, my imperfections and my best qualities, and I am a million times more confident and comfortable in my own skin than I ever have been before. I think that translates to a maturity that would serve a relationship well, much more than if I’d been in one previously in my life.

— Cats will never miss an opportunity to put their butt in your face.

— You really should floss your teeth every night.

— You are fully responsible for your own choices. You are not responsible for the choices of others. In the end, you make decisions for yourself, even if it is only how you decide to react to something.

— Hair products can change your life.

— Romance novels are NOTHING to be ashamed of. Of course, as with all genres, there are fantastic books and there are horrible books, but the genre as a whole has progressed light-years since the stereotypical “bodice-rippers” of the past. Seriously, some of the most important things I’ve ever learned came from romance novels.

The answer is yes. Do yourself a favor, gentlemen.

— You will find friends in the most unexpected places and at the most unexpected times. You will also realize that some people will always be your friend, come what may, while others were only meant to be a brief chapter in your life.

— Eat dessert.

If Emma Stone says it, you should listen.

I call it my dessert tank, personally.

— It is perfectly fine to be in your twenties or thirties or any age, and to be a virgin or to not have a boyfriend or to never have been kissed. Just because romance is absent from your life does not automatically mean something is wrong with you or that your life is lacking or even that you’ll never find it.

I don't get what's wrong with this? My jokes are hilarious.

I don’t get what’s wrong with this? My jokes are hilarious.

— I believe you are responsible for your own happiness. I have known a lot of bitter, angry people in my life, and it has only reinforced this to me. Always try to make your own happiness.

— Unless you’re a sailor, take Dramamine before you go deep sea fishing. TRUST ME, DO NOT MAKE THE MISTAKES MY FAMILY AND I DID ON THE UNSPEAKABLY DREADFUL SUMMER VACATION AFTER SIXTH GRADE IN SOUTH PADRE ISLAND (Incidentally, that’s also where I learned the lesson about getting a sunburn while it’s cloudy.)

— New lesson: Do not go to South Padre Island.

— You WILL make a fool of yourself in front of someone you like. Just accept it, and enjoy the hilarious story you’ll be able to tell your friends in the future. And, if you’re really lucky like me, you’ll humiliate yourself over and over and over again, and provide enough stories to one day write your own book about it. (In case you didn’t know, I am an optimist.)

Sublesson: Daily Odd Compliments are the best.

— You’re probably never going to use cursive or algebra outside of school, but learn them anyway, because learning is always important. Besides, I like to write in cursive, it’s much prettier than my print handwriting.

— Some things are wrong, even if the person in authority is telling you that they are right. (For example, it will always be gif with a “guh” sound, not a j sound. Jif is peanut butter.)

— Take naps if you can. And laugh freely.

–Do not, under any circumstances, get a drastic new haircut any closer than a month before a major life event.

Junior year of college. Worst haircut of my life.

Junior year of college. Worst haircut of my life.

— From what I can tell so far, the golden rule is still the best one to live by.

— Wear bicycle shorts under your dress or skirt. Just do it.

— Be honest whenever you can, and kind when you can’t.

— If you’re going to drink a lot, do it around people you trust, especially the first time. And for godsake, have someone hide your phone from you.

The problem.

The solution.

— Perhaps the most important lesson I have learned so far: Love may not be all you need, but it’s the most important thing. Love comes in all forms, and whether it’s for someone else or yourself or your pet or your favorite food, love is the rain and the sun and the minerals that nourishes the healthy growth of life. I believe in love above all things.

— And the final lesson I am sharing with you today– make your own rules and learn your own lessons. All the things that work for me will never be exactly the same as the things that work for you. You may never learn some of the things I’ve listed, or agree with any of them, and that is absolutely and perfectly fine. What I do wish could be universal, however, is tolerance when everyone inevitably comes to the realization that no one will ever agree with every single thing we think and believe.

Post originally inspired by 25 Things Every Woman Needs to Know

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The Surprisingly Philosophical Beauty of Spam

Hello, Dear Readers.
Since I first began blogging over a year ago on my other blog, I have learned some very valuable lessons about this whole blogging business. One of the most important things I have learned is to edit. Repeatedly. And even when I do that, I will sometimes go back and read a much older post for some reason, cringe when I find an error, and then fix it, even though no one is probably going to read it ever again. So many times I will publish my post, and then read it through before frantically hitting the edit button immediately.

*Me reading my post*: “Hahaha, this is so good, I’m hilariou- wait. DID I SPELL THEIR AS THEY’RE?!?!”

The second is that blogging takes both time and commitment. Maybe some people, either much more talented or much luckier than I, can post two times on WordPress, get Freshly Pressed, and wind up with 1,000 followers in the span of a week. Disappointingly, this has not happened to me. Currently, on my fashion blog I have 38 followers, and on this blog I have 23, and I have celebrated excitedly every single one of those new followers. But I have had my fashion blog for over a year now, and this blog for half a year, and naturally I had hoped that I would have more by this point. But that’s the thing with blogging– for me, I just have to keep trucking, trying to get better with every post, and hoping that I’ll get more popular with every post.
The third is that, while in one day you may have 323 people read your post about why you’d make a great girlfriend, you can still end up with only two comments and one like (from your mother).

“I’m so proud of you!!!”

The point I’m trying to make is that blogging can be a very discouraging endeavor. Lucky for me, I have recently discovered that I have a whole queue of spam comments that WordPress saves for my consideration. What I have also discovered is that the spam that has been left on my wall is surprisingly philosophical. I have found very uplifting encouragement, strangely lyrical insights, juicy tidbits of news, and some truly existential exploration of the world. Today, I will highlight a few of my very favorite examples from the 87 spam comments currently in my spam queue, and take the opportunity to finally address these burningly relevant remarks and questions.

THE KIND

From Rico (1):
This is the perfect site for anyone who wishes to find
out about this topic. You understand so much its almost hard to argue with you (not that I really would want to…HaHa).
You definitely put a new spin on a topic that has been discussed for years.
Excellent stuff, just excellent!
Wow, why thank you, Rico (1)!! It’s always nice to know that I’m such an authority you wouldn’t want to argue with me. I also am glad to hear that I am so talented I was able to put a new spin on an old favorite- aka my post about when a tornado almost hit my house. It’s a crowded genre, so it’s so rewarding to hear I’m standing out.

From Alonso Banwarth:
Wow, amazing blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is magnificent, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about 6 Reasons I Would Make A Really Great Girlfriend Boots and Cats .
Alonso Banwarth, may I just first compliment you on your amazing name? One would almost think it was made up, it’s so awesome. But as to your question, I believe if you look in my archive you can find my first blog post, and that will hopefully answer for you. And while I am not sure that I would consider a post about being a great girlfriend as something so formal as an “article,” your words certainly made me feel reassured in my decision to switch to my current layout a few months ago.

From discount sheath wedding dresses:
I like this website it’s a master piece! Glad I detected this on google.”
Oh, discount sheath wedding dresses. I am so flattered you broke out the word “master piece.” Well, words I guess. But either way, I too am so glad you detected my blog on google.

From nordstrom formal dresses:
I got what you will, thanks for swing up. Woh I am gladsome to gain this website through google. Thanks For Share Adult web Step into this.”
Can I quickly mention I’m both surprised and excited at the positive attention I am receiving from the dress world? Really uplifting news. As for your comment, I’m guessing that perhaps English is not your first language? I cannot say I am 100% getting what you’re throwing down, but it seems like a compliment, if with a hint of “Adult web” dodginess. But I am just really pumped to see another person gaining this website through google. Woh I am gladsome for google!

From email Templates outlook 2010:
It is not my first time to visit this site, i am visiting this site dailly and obtain nice facts from here every day.”
A daily visitor?! YESSSS. I didn’t even know there were really facts on here, but if you think it’s nice and want to obtain them, then by all means, go crazy! You’ve helped me see what a valid, credible source of facts I am. (I am assuming you’re using them in your emails?)

From powiększanie penisa:
Fantastic items from you, man. I’ve take into account your stuff previous to and you’re simply too fantastic.
I really like what you have received here, certainly like what you are stating and the best way through
which you say it. You make it entertaining and you still take care
of to keep it wise. I cant wait to learn much more from you.
That is really a tremendous web site.
Gosh, man, you’ve really got me flustered here! This is probably one of the most thoughtful, original compliments I have received on this site. Gosh, I am glad you like what I am stating and the best way through which I say it, though perhaps “best way” is overstating it a little. I will treasure this, Mr. (Ms.?) Penisa.

From impotencja:
Wonderful goods from you, man. I’ve understand your stuff previous to and you are just too fantastic. I really like what you’ve acquired here, really like what you are saying and the way in which you say it.
You make it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it smart.
I can’t wait to read far more from you. This is really a wonderful site.
Aw, shucks, man…. Wait. Does this sound, like, maybe a little bit like the previous comment. I mean, I don’t want to rag on your positive words, but… did you just like copy Mr. Penisa.
Hold on. Penisa. Impotencja. Why does that seem odd to me?

From Under Armour Highlight Cleats:
This blog was… how do I say it? Relevant!! Finally I have found
something that helped me. Appreciate it!”
I am honored to be of service. I am so glad that you found my post about someone mistaking me as a man and then eating half a pizza to be relevant to the subject of cleats. Or to be relevant to a cleat? Are you a cleat? Or do you just represent the company that makes one? Either way, I would like to suggest that when it comes to the word “relevant’ I do not think that word means what you think that it means. Perhaps you might continue looking for another way to say it.

From chwilowka na dowod:
These are in fact wonderful ideas in concerning blogging.
You have touched some fastidious factors here. Any way keep up wrinting.”
I love these exotic names I’m seeing on here, that must mean I have an international appeal, even to more fastidious readers. It’s reassuring to know I have some factors in my wrinting that people want to see more of.

From najlepsze chwilowki:
Yes! Finally something about chwilowka na dowod.”
Your enthusiasm for my blog increases my enthusiasm! Curiously, however, a search of my blog revealed that I was right when I could not remember ever blogging about chwilowka na dowod. Considering I did not even know what that was, I would have been surprised to find I blogged about. I am desolated to point out that the only chwilowka na dowod on my blog is actually from the commenter just above you there, so perhaps you might check them out instead.

From Biuro rachunkowe Szczecin alfa:
Incredible! This blog looks just like my old one! It’s on a completely different subject but it has pretty much the same page layout and design. Great choice of colors!
Thanks! I do not mean to sound condescending, but can I point out that my layout is one of the free ones available to all WordPress users? It might look the same because it is the same. Of course, it could just be a coincidence!

THE POETIC

From homepage:
An area around the ground where a cesspool complies underneath
may wind up raised or compressed. Discharge of waste to rivers may be
outlawed.
Almost like a haiku in its concise simplicity, this comment is an elegant and astute observation on the battle between industry and environment.

From car hire manchester airport:
The years of socks, perfume and chocolates have been close to
for some clip and those cars they offer are all readily useable in their website.
An inside look at the world of consumerism from somebody working in the cutthroat industry of car hiring in Manchester Airport.

From Bettie:
No matter if some one searches for his necessary thing, so
he/she needs to be available that in detail,
therefore that thing is maintained over here.”
Whoever this Bettie is, I believe she is wasting a truly existential talent for challenging us to think about what’s inside of us all. So beautifully zen… This belongs in an anthology, not on a WordPress comment.

From quick pay day loans:
Essentially it is intentional to be as mere
as possible for the steadfast job and earning
a level-headed germ of income.
This is a frightening piece that really strikes home to me, the young, new graduate searching for a worthwhile, fulfilling job. To be mere as possible?? A germ of income?! I can only read this as an ironic warning against settling for some steadfast, level-headed job and to pursue my dreams instead, so I don’t end up as being mere!

From Loretta:
Truly no matter if someone doesn’t be aware of then its up to other people that they will help, so here it occurs.
Loretta, you and Bettie should seriously get together and write a book of poetry that addresses finding yourself and learning to be a good, kind human being.

THE… UMMM…. JUST READ THEM

From cash loans today:
When you take all the in a higher place into consideration it is no birthday belt in October and early pics on a unconstipated basis.
new payday lenders Borrowers motive the services provided by visto la mayor?
a de los episodios de la nueva serie de HBO Girls.”
Yep. They said unconstipated. In other news, where can I get a birthday belt? My birthday is in August, not October, so hopefully there’s no problem with availability then. I’m picturing birthday belts as very similar to Batman’s utility belt, except they have like confetti and birthday cake and a different present in every compartment.
….. Dear lord, that’s actually a brilliant idea. I AM TRADEMARKING THAT NOW, DO NOT STEAL MY IDEA.

From online payday loan:
Would like to get the fund throughwithout any dogfight, you
demand to fulfill some at one man’s journey to build a malarky farm off the shores of Mantle Cod. They want responsible for governing body and admirer and a buff at the same fourth dimension so choose one.”
So I was totally with you on avoiding the dogfight, and definitely on the malarky farm thing, even if I’m not sure where Mantle Cod is. I’m just assuming that a malarky farm is a place that produces Peeta Mellarks, and I honestly cannot imagine anything better. In fact, TRADEMARKING THAT TOO, BACK OFF. However, I am very confused with your last sentence and I’m not even sure what my options are and I AM FEELING REALLY PRESSURED AND I CAN’T CHOOSE ONE.

From contract car hire:
assorted studies show that an optimistic believed, believed, believed.
malaga car hire Miletski does not see Accession to fluid email, your telephone set understands German, and “Yip” is a
verb okay, actually Yelping is a verb.”
Okay, I really like this one. I’m not sure who needed a study, much less assorted ones, to discover that the optimistic “believed, believed, believed” since that is kind of the definition of being optimistic. But then you really provided me with some helpful information in telling me that my telephone understands German (I am SO going to try and speak German on my next speech to text message), and then you completely disarmed me with your wry, rueful admittance that it is yelping, not yip, that is actually a verb.

From http://www.easycarhireuk.co.uk/:
Should Red felons garlic clove and put it in your backtalk.
hire a car neither trice nor Silverlight are currently supported on pages,
and as anyone with an iPhone can offend, it ceases to exist.
“”Censorship reflects a order’s lack of self-confidence in itself.
I honestly cannot stop laughing long enough to talk about this. I really can’t. I am in tears. If you have a problem with that, you just take your Red felons garlic clove and put it right in your backtalk. After all, censorship reflects poorly on us all.

And last, but obviously not least–
MY FAVORITE SPAM COMMENT

From education blog:
Today, I went to the beach with my children. I found a sea shell and gave
it to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She placed the shell to her ear and screamed.
There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off topic but
I had to tell someone!
Honestly, this just speaks for itself, doesn’t it? Whether this is spam, or really just some doting parent stymied from sharing the hilarious hijinks and mishaps of raising children (perhaps for fear of child abuse charges? Hermit crab pinches really hurt), this is still the best anecdote that has ever been surreptitiously and randomly dropped into my lap. And if it is spam, I applaud you. You are clearly the funniest Spambot of all time, and can spam me anytime you like.

Your name is Kommentár Nélkül? Have you possibly been leaving comments on my blog?

Thanks, spam. You have learned me a level-headed car hire lesson about detecting with google my cesspool of prejudice and tendency to judge spam without reading it. Your encouraging, thoughtful financial loan remarks have unconstipated the blinders from my eyes, and I hope a hermit crab pinches my ear if I am ever so shallow again.
Penisa impotencja.