As you may or may not know, Thursday, August 22 was a very important day in the world– it was my star birthday. That means I turned 22 on the 22nd. It was a mixed day, with both highs and lows, as most days are, but it was still special and still lovely, and in honor, I am going to share with you an outline of what crazy cat ladies might do on their big day. I’m sure you’re just perishing with anticipation.
Now, I know what you’re thinking– a crazy cat lady on her birthday?! I bet she really gets caaaa-razy!
Ah, but Readers, read on. The birthday of a crazy cat lady is more glamourous than you would ever guess.
Boots and Cats officially presents: THINGS CRAZY CAT LADIES DO ON THEIR BIRTHDAYS
Warning: Gratuitous photos of cats ahead.
1. Wake up voluntarily at 8am since you got sick the night before and fell asleep just barely after midnight, voluntarily stay awake, nearly die of shock, and then have a bowl of Lucky Charms.
2. CAT TIME.
3. Take a cat break to check your phone and brood over the fact that nothing interesting ever happened on your birthday.
4. Notice your cat sleeping next to you, and decide it’s time for some CAT SELFIEZZZ.
5. CRY WITH GRATITUDE BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER.
6. Fall asleep and cat nap until your dad calls you to say he’s on the way home from work and you panickedly jump up and frantically start getting ready.
7. Send some Snapchats after you get ready so everyone can see how good you look on your birthday.
9. Head to Best Buy to look at Kindles since the screen on your old, basic one broke; realize they don’t sell basic Kindles anymore and you don’t want a new, fancy one so you make your dad go into Petsmart next door so you can look at the KITTIEZZZ.
10. Head to Academy so you can get a new soccer ball; get a bonus Blake Griffin OU jersey for $10, and THEN you see a lady in Academy with a live monkey on her shoulder, complete with a little leash and diaper.
13. Take pictures for your bargain fashion blog (feel free to go check out the post).
14. Spend some more quality time with your cat.
15. Decide to change and then head to Red Lobster for dinner with your fam.
16. Stuff your gullet while pausing occasionally for pictures.
17. Begin getting very, very ill and desperate to go home.
18. Rush home and into the bathroom.
19. End up crying in the shower because you got sick on your birthday.
20. Collapse pitifully on the couch and be comforted by your cat.
21. Open your present from your mom.
22. Count the day a success.