11 Animals That Perfectly Sum Up My Vacation in Texas During July

Soooo… I took a bit of a sabbatical from the ol’ blogging, but I have good reason. The fam and I have been on vacation, that glorious mainstay of the summer.

VACAAAAAAY

We decided to amble on down south to that state unto itself, Texas. Now, I have been to Texas quite literally more times than I can count, but this time we decided to visit some new places we had never been before. We started off in Fort Worth, but before we even got there we got a flat tire. On our rental car. Just toodling along on the highway. We also learned that if you get a flat tire, you are responsible for repairing/replacing it. So heads up, car renters. Luckily, ours was a very simple and inexpensive fix, and we did not find ourselves too inconvenienced– well, except for having to unload all our luggage out of our car on the side of the highway to get the spare tire out of the trunk, putting it back in, then having to unload it all again when we got to the nearest Walmart Tire Center. All of this in burning, sweltering heat.
Did I mention that it was hellaciously hot? That was the mainstay of the whole trip: stultifying, draining heat (get ready, because there’s going to be a whole lot of synonyms for hot coming your way). We went to San Antonio and visited some of the old missions there and did a lot of strolling along the Riverwalk- which necessitated walking around outside. We visited Galveston, where the humidity nearly knocked me on my hindquarters whenever I stepped out of doors.

Me for a SOLID WEEK

Now, as my fam and I are dedicated, hardcore zoo junkies, one of the big highlights of the trip we were looking forward to was the two new zoos we were going to that we had somehow never been to before, the San Antonio Zoo and the Houston Zoo. Now, let me stress here, we freaking love zoos. Like, zoos are the best, guys. But we were going to zoos. In Texas. In July. Let me just give you a visual of what I felt like:

Ohhhhh, I just can’t WAAAAAAAAIT… to be in air-conditioning.

Simba there is perfectly embodying what I was feeling like, both at the zoos and during most of the trip. And in that same vein, I present to you animals at the zoo who understood exactly what I was going through during vacation. In Texas. In JULY.

1. LIZARD OF… UM…SOME SORT, SAN ANTONIO ZOO

I honestly thought maybe this lizard had died, but then I recognized how I was feeling before I came in the reptile house.

I honestly thought maybe this lizard had died, but then I recognized how I was feeling before I came in the A/C of the reptile house.

2. ANOTHER LIZARD OF UNRECORDED TYPE (perhaps a monitor?), HOUSTON ZOO

I just... I can't even

I just… I can’t even move from this log right now.

3. CHAMELEON, HOUSTON ZOO

Don't even try me today

Don’t EVEN try me today


4. YET ANOTHER LIZARD I DON’T KNOW THE EXACT NAME OF, HOUSTON ZOO

I can't even get comfortable, no matter what I do. (Note: DO NOT WEAR A MAXI DRESS TO THE ZOO ON A SWELTERING DAY)

I can’t even get comfortable, no matter what I do. (Note: DO NOT WEAR A MAXI DRESS TO THE ZOO ON A SWELTERING DAY, OR YOU WILL END UP WALKING AROUND LIKE THIS WITH YOUR DRESS HIKED UP INDECENTLY HIGH AND YOU WON’T EVEN CARE EVEN A LITTLE BIT)

5. YOU GUESSED IT IT’S ANOTHER LIZARD, SOME SORT OF MONITOR, HOUSTON ZOO

My lizard brethren were really feeling my pain this week. I was jealous this one got to sleep in a waterfall though.

Got my ass in my waterfall and I ain’t movin’ today, son.

6. KOMODO DRAGON, HOUSTON ZOO– (IT’S A LIZARD BUT I KNEW THE NAME YEEEEAH!)

My lizard brethren were really feeling my pain this week.

My lizard brethren were really feeling my pain this week.

"Like, you don't even understand how little I care right now." --this komodo when I stuck my face right by the glass and woke it up.

Komodo?? How about KomoNO.

7. CHEETAH, HOUSTON ZOO

I'm not running again until at least the middle of September.

I’m not running again until at least the middle of September.

8. LIONESS, HOUSTON ZOO

I don't think words are necessary here.

I don’t think words are necessary here.

9. LEOPARD, HOUSTON ZOO
(Brief note, LEOPARDS ARE MY FAVORITE ANIMALS, MILD HYSTERICS ENSUING, OKAY WE’RE GOOD)

I honestly am not even interested in eating your face today, it's just too hot for that nonsense.

I honestly am not even interested in eating your face today, it’s just too hot for that nonsense.


10. ORANGUTAN, HOUSTON ZOO

I honestly have nothing left to give.

I honestly have nothing left to give, just go on without me.

11. BABY ORANGUTAN, HOUSTON ZOO

CURSE YOU, YE FOUL AND CRUEL WEATHER GODSSSSS!!!!!!

CURSES UPON YOUR HEADS, YE FOUL AND CRUEL WEATHER GODSSSSS!!!!!!

Suffice it to say, it was a little warm throughout our visit, and the heat often has a derogatory effect upon my person, my attitude, and any motivation or interest in life that I have. I was excited when we finally got to Galveston because all I was thinking was BEACH!OCEAN!WATER!BIKINI!LESSCLOOOOTHES!!!!! And during our last vacation to Galveston three years ago, I was recalling that boys just seem to be much hotter in Texas (the conclusions of this hypothesis will be revealed for your amusement in my next blog post so stay tuned) so I was hoping to maybe find me a cutie who appreciated a girl who doesn’t like running.

LOL TOTALLY IGNORING I DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT IN A BIKINI THOUGH

But then, you know, humidity happened.

I wore my hair up. Every. Single. Day.


Many more noteworthy and interesting things happened while we were there but I could spend ages talking about all of them (Quick highlights: mom got pooped on by a bird, a man was grilling on a tiny grill in the parking lot of one of our hotels wearing a shirt that said “hustler”, I saw an elephant swimming underwater, that baby orangutan dumped wood shavings on her head for a solid fifteen minutes in a shower of utter adorableness, I SAW DOLPHINS IN THE OCEAN, I had a few drinks and did NOT get sick (huzzah!), and no one in my family got eaten by sharks!!) . I’m going to include a slew of photos below to showcase a few things I particularly liked, but before I go I will sum up how nice it was, even after such a lovely trip, to come back home, via this final animal picture:

Ahhh, home sweet home, where one can truly relax.

Ahhh, home sweet home, where one can truly relax.

Now I hope you will enjoy my photographic endeavors below:

The charming beginning to my trip.

The charming beginning to my trip.

I always find it an auspicious beginning when your rental car has Smurfette in Paris stuck to the window.

I always find it an auspicious beginning when your rental car has Smurfette in Paris stuck to the window.

Whoops, how did this innocuous card about pillows find its way in here?

Whoops, how did this innocuous card about pillows find its way in here?

Mission Concepción

Mission Concepción from the back, San Antonio

Mission Concepción

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

I hope you can tell that is a sunshine with a moustache... Mission Concepción, San Antonio

I hope you can tell that is a sunshine with a moustache… Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission Concepción, San Antonio

Mission San José

Mission San José, San Antonio

Mission San José

Mission San José, San Antonio

Mission San José

My sister in Mission San José, San Antonio

Mission San José

Still my sister in Mission San José, San Antonio

Front doors, Mission San José

Front doors, Mission San José, San Antonio

There was a lady taking her bridal portraits, it was gorgeous. Mission San José

There was a lady taking her bridal portraits, it was gorgeous. Mission San José, San Ano

Mission San José

Mission San José, San Antonio

Mission San José

Front entrance, Mission San José, San Antonio

Mission Espada

Mission Espada, San Antonio

Mission Espada

Mission Espada, San Antonio

My lovely sister and I. That's me there on the left, melting.

My lovely sister and I. That’s me there on the left, melting. At the beach, Galveston

The view from our hotel in Galveston.

The view from our hotel in Galveston.

This was on the inside of our hotel door in Galveston... isn't this kind of the point of a hotel???

This was on the inside of our hotel door in Galveston… isn’t this kind of the point of a hotel???

Enjoying a drink on our last night of vacation in Galveston!

Enjoying a drink on our last night of vacation in Galveston!

 

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2 comments on “11 Animals That Perfectly Sum Up My Vacation in Texas During July

  1. Actually, it was a bat that pooped on me. Guano.

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